Tuesday, November 15, 2011

I was THAT girl.

Have you ever been in a situation where you're about to spill your guts to a friend and then you suddenly realize "THIS PERSON IS NOT MY FRIEND"? What about if, you've JUST let loose of a millions little things or maybe one big thing that's been bothering you and THEN it becomes apparent, after you've bared your soul, that this woman doesn't consider you worth a smirk.

A couple of years ago I was chatting with a group of friends whom I feel very comfortable with. So I was doing a little work related venting, when all of a sudden, right out of nowhere, I was verbally slapped right back into my seat. Oh the humiliation I felt. It was at that moment that I realized I had trusted someone by association, and she was not to be trusted. Lets call her Sally.

Lesson 1: Don't cast your pearls before swine but do love your neighbor as yourself.

Watch it sisters because we women can be so mean. And really, we should stick together. Yes, many times we can be oh so shallow and full of our selves but what if that snooty little perfect girl really has a horrible self image?? What if that gal who has the life you dream of really has an unfaithful husband? You see we don't know what's going on in the lives of others, even some of our closest friends. So, while maybe you shouldn't tell your Sally your deepest and darkest secrets, you can still have coffee with her and be a real friend. Just remember not to talk about her when you get in your car. And yes, thoughts are the same as words. If you let yourself think things about someone, you'll find yourself saying them pretty soon. Don't be THAT girl.

Recently I have been in proximity to Sally a few times and have remembered to guard my sore spots. In my bitterness, although I was certainly nice to her, I allowed an attitude of meanness to flourish in my heart (towards Sally). This week I had a chance to give her a small (but loving) poke, publicly. For 24 hours, not only did I barely think of it but, I had a mean little smile in my head just for her. My tiny jab was nothing (compared to regular meanness) and once I did give it some thought I knew it was certainly well deserved and justified. We aren't even, Sally and I, not even close. Once I realized that, I knew the depth to which I had stooped. I was trying to be THAT girl to Sally, in the nicest way possible, and who was I to decide she deserved to be humiliated, even to a tiny degree? That is not my right and that is not your right, even to someone who is THAT girl.

Take my advice; it's no fun being THAT girl.

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