Saturday, January 11, 2014

Good Morning!

Hi old buddy old pal!
I have no idea how to post a blog from my phone... and we don't have another source for internet at home. There are a couple of options here; I could write the posts and save them until I can upload, or figure out why my phone doesn't have hotspot abilities. If I can make my phone be a hotspot then I'm afraid I'll be purchasing a LOT more data than I already exceed each month. If I could refrain from logging on except when posting then that could be a solution. Just some thoughts. Beyond all of that, we've had so many changes in our lives that you might know nothing about! Allow me to fill you in, just a little.
In Oct or Nov of 2012 we did get moved into our bigger and older house. It is already brimming with stuff and junk that I should learn to get rid of. My huge garage is not yet organized but I foresee a little time in the future to accomplish that. Soon after our move we welcomed a new baby sibling to the two darling foster children who I mentioned before. Our lives were overflowing with love and happiness and I found myself asking a question that I'll never ask again; "Why is this life we have so full of love and so nearly perfect?" I just had to ask. I was waiting for reality to break in and steal my dreams-come-true.
On June 23, 2013 my beautiful mother was killed in a car accident. I sob even now as I write those terrible words. She was my closest girl friend, my biggest champion, the most devoted and enthusiastic grandmother, the most enthusiastic everything, for that matter. She was radiant and vibrant and the world is emptier, colder, and dulled without her in it. She added her own shimmer to the sunshine. The world does not know the sparkle it has lost.
3 months after losing Mom our children were removed from our home and we don't know what that future looks like. We have contacted attorneys and are trying to move forward with hiring them to sort out this situation. We're allowed to see and visit our children and we know they are safe and loved, I'll post the details separately so look for that in you have an interest.
  We've just come through our first round of holidays without Mom and we've all survived. I have spent time visiting my dad and I'm so grateful for the loved ones I have left, especially my husband. He is so loving and kind. He is gentle and caring, hard working, committed to our love, he envelopes me with his support and comfort. He is my most treasured gift from God. I also have found comfort in the rest of my family, especially my brother and sister-in-law who understand this profound loss as only they could. My group of close personal friends, some of whom I consider sisters, have lifted me when I couldn't carry on, they sob with me and allow their hearts to break as mine has. They have loved my mom and my children along side me and they feel the ache that is left behind. Among these ashes I have found such beautiful treasures and the pain makes pleasure of it so much sweeter.
God has cloaked me in His comfort, He has soothed my pain with His love and care. I know WHO holds my world together and I trust my Heavenly Father with every tear and all my pain. I know that He does not want my heart to hurt, I know that he will work all of this for my good, and for the good of our children. I do not fear the future, whatever it may hold.
Please check back for updates on our story. I would love for you to watch with us as this happy ending unfolds.