Food For ... Thought.

In your marriage - or any relationship really. Especially your marriage though because, man, living with someone gets frustrating! Your spouse or friend, mother, brother, whoever, was not created to make you happy, to maintain your sense of well being, or to cheer you up.

You were not created even to BE happy. You were created to glorify God by becoming holy through a lifetime of trusting in God through all of your circumstances. God is not a magic genie that pops out to make our dreams and wishes come true. God is God. For us to adore, worship, fear, revere, trust, honor, glorify, and love.

So do not rely on your spouse to make your day brighter, make theirs brighter, don't wait for them to complement you, complement them, serve God by loving your spouse as God has loved us. Thoroughly, unconditionally, never ending(ly), always when you don't feel like it or don't want to, and especially when they don't deserve it, because we never have deserved Gods love, and we never will.

Welcome to Nasty!

That was the ickiest, messiest, most primitive experience I've ever had.

I've seen some ultra nasty refrigerators in my life and, actually this one didn't come close, but this one is my own, and its the grossest my own has ever been.

Want to make fruit leather? Just leave a jar of jelly on its side for awhile, see what it comes to. There was another kinda of leather under the drawer which came as a shock to me. It wasn't fruit though. More like beef jerky leather, except I think it came from relish. Blah.

My mother would be so proud of me for my moment of motivation, actually probably horrified that it took so long to hit me. Motivation and I have rarely crossed in the last few months? Maybe a bit longer than that... I do sweep my floors and clean my bathrooms regularly though.

I would have taken a picture but I didn't want proof that I could live in such a way! Really though on a scale of 1 to 10, I give this a solid 5. Gross, but didn't really take long to clean up.
Thank you Pinterest for little ideas like press and seal lined shelves...even though it didn't seem to work. I'll try again in the future.

Wow. Thanks for tuning in for this very important message today. Now go clean something.

To The World's Greatest Husband, Captain America!

I love you.

I have loved you from the first time we kissed, right after I schooled you in basketball in my driveway, On December 28, 1996.

I love those crinkly crinkles you have at the corners of your eyes.

I love the sparkly silver hair that you let the barber buzz off twice a month.

I love your broken collarbone bump.

I love that scar on your head, the one I always have to ask about because it happened when you were young and I can never remember how.

I love your skin.

I love your lips.

I love your son and that freckle on his top lip.

I love you, your patience and your impatience, your smile and your frown, your scalding hot shower and freezing cold house and the combination of the two that steams up the bathroom and frizzes up my hair.

You're the answer to years of prayers and I'll love you forever.

Happy Anniversary.

Merciful Hearts

Mt heart is heavy for the people in this world who have such humongous burdens to carry and to live with. I am thinking of people who have lost their homes, their family, and their livelihood. People who have lived through tragedy and trauma and also those who just live each day with a pain from a broken heart. Thinking of these people has helped me to see that the little things in life are sometimes the big things, and that the things we think are big, are many times pretty small. It has also brought me to a place where I count my blessings everyday. Blessings that are usually taken for granted like running water, working Internet, a dependable vehicle, loving family and friends, and most of all, the love of God.
I believe that the love of God is shown by us, and through us, best of all in how we treat others. If we use our "kind" and "polite" words to scrape our boots on some one's face, to demand their humiliation, then we have not shown God's love, but our own shameful sin.
God has called us to show mercy, to offer forgiveness, and to love one another long before we are asked to do so. As Christians, that is our honor. So next time you know you have the right to publicly call someone out, remember that Christ has the right to call you out too, and He gives you mercy and forgiveness instead.
Everyone you meet is fighting some battle, so speak kindly and show mercy. Forgive them before they ask you to, and even if they never do.

Joplin, MO

Joplin, MO needs you to pray, volunteer, donate, or do anything you can do to help.
These people have not just lost their homes, belongings, jobs, vehicles, and city but also, specifically, their mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, grandparents, children and babies. Entire families. They are trying to salvage and rebuild their lives and that is hard enough, but they are functioning during their grief and that is next to impossible.
Joplin, MO needs your help. They don't need your kind thoughts. Your thoughts are not with them. The people of Joplin need money, help, prayer, and love. They need it in the physical form. They need everything they can get and they need it from you.
Please visit Convoy of Hope or James River Assembly's Joplin Tornado Relief Effort to find out how you can do your part.

Divorce Awareness Month: Part Last

To end this month I want to clarify that I have come to this belief (against divorce) not from a place of superiority or with a judgemental heart. I come as someone who has seen divorce up close and from a few different angles.
My first experience with divorce was as a 16 year old high school-er who believed in happily ever after. My family had it all, not in matters of wealth though we weren't poor. My mom loved and adored my dad. I am the middle of three kids who also loved and adored our dad. He, evidently, did not have so much love and adoration in his own heart for our family. That was something that kicked us in the gut a few minutes before he drove away. The experience rocked my world in a way that I hope to never be rocked again. My life went down hill for 5 to 7 years from that night, life after divorce isn't pretty. I have never seen someone walk away from the scene un-scathed. My family suffered, and seems still to be suffering, in many ways. Our entire church was shaken right down to the youth group that was every bit a part of our family as I was. Wounds are still healing, wounds are still bleeding, tears are still. being. shed. There is no easy fix, there are no magic words, there's no right way to recover and no correct time frame to recover in. Divorce sucks, it just plain sucks. It sucks the life right out of those it takes down with the marriage it rips apart.
My next big experience with divorce was that of my own. The entire marriage was a joke from the beginning. After we married I found out that I didn't even know the guy's actual age, if you can believe that. There was a fake id and altered birth certificate involved, and for what? Some stupid lie to maintain, some idea to live up to. The problems in that marriage were as much my own fault as his though; I walked into that marriage with the belief that I could make it work all by myself. I could make a marriage worth staying in, or something, who knows. But it always take persistence and commitment. Neither of us had that. My one regret about the marriage is that I refused to ask God's direction before I entered into it. I knew He would say no, I knew it was not the right choice, and I refused to listen. I went my own way and followed my own path. That divorce sucked too.

The rest of my experience with divorce is from a step back, my grandparent's divorced when my mom was about 10 years old. My aunt and uncle divorced when I was a little girl and I'll have memories of that for the rest of my life. Another aunt and uncle divorced when I was a little older and I still talk with my cousins about how it affects their lives to this day, twenty years later. I have watched my friends' divorces tear up their children, and themselves. Divorce rips lives apart in such a way that the heart will never forget.

I believe there is a place for divorce although the bible does not advocate, support, or encourage divorce. The bible says that if your spouse has cheated on you, you have a right to a divorce, but not that you must divorce, or even that you should. Sometimes we exercise that right to divorce out of pain, humiliation, agony, or pride. If we look back later, we might realize that the marriage could have been healed and restored with repentance and forgiveness. Don't over look that. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), and I believe it's because he sees what a blood bath it is. I always wondered why I didn't die from the pain of my parents divorce. Abandonment by an unsaved spouse is also grounds. I'll tell you that some say that abuse of any kind to spouse or children has been listed under abandonment by some, and that seems right to me, but the bible isn't clear on that and to take liberties with the Word of God is living closer to the edge than I'm willing to go.
Read what this website has to say about it.

What God Has joined Together

I was once dropped off early, by a date for being too nice and agreeable. I'm sure my husband would find that laughable.
Someone else broke up with me just a couple of days after asking me to be his girlfriend because I was nice to his buddies when he took me to meet them. We were driving back towards my house when the guy brought it up. I said "That's fine with with me, I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who is going to suspect foul play at every turn". By they time we got to my house he had changed his tune and was back peddling fast. I said "hit the road". He was probably thinking I had been a little too agreeable, too.
That date-cut-short was 12 years ago and the break-up was at least 10. In my heart and mind it was a lifetime ago but the memories are clear. I could list a few other, longer and more meaningful, relationships that I've been involved in but I won't. What I'm really getting at is no matter how deep the relationship currently is, If you don't intend to marry that person you need to get out because you take things with you when you go. The longer you stay in a relationship the more of that person's life leaves with you.
God was serious when He told us to practice abstinence until we married. no matter how much you wish a past relationship away, a lot of it stays in your heart. When two become one, and are then separated, it is like tearing something down the middle. There are still two pieces but each piece takes a part of the other, the edge is jagged. Don't become one with someone you aren't married to and don't separate what has become one (through marriage).
You can change the quality and environment of your marriage before you even meet your spouse by cautiously choosing who to care for and by acting honorably before God and using wisdom in the days that precede your marriage.

Preparation for Divorce Awareness Month Segment 2: Love Your In-Laws as Yourself

In-laws can bring all sorts of new concepts and ideas to the family dynamic. Things that the family had never considered would be introduced into their homes or lives.

For instance, we know someone who just had a baby and now have decided to spend their holidays at home, not rushing around between grandparent's and great-grandparent's homes for dinner and gifts and gatherings. I'm sure there were a couple of people who weren't so excited about that. What helps though, is that they welcome their families into their own home for the day. So everyone still gets to gather together and celebrate but the new baby doesn't have to carted all about town. I'm sure that mama was the #1 in-law on "the bad list" for a bit. She and her hubby stood up for what they believed was the best decision for their new little girl though, and that's their job.

I know another gal who is not friends with her husband's family. She thinks they're strange and uninterested in her life. To her they seem un-friendly and cold. She can see that they have meaningful relationships with one another, she even feels that they are too close. She just doesn't see that there is anything to build a relationship on for her. My friend has told me that she has tried to involve her in-laws in conversation but they seem unresponsive. Does this sound familiar to you? If so, trying talking to them about something they might be interested in. Ask questions about their life. Don't think they've been sitting around waiting to hear about your decorating plans. I can promise you, they probably don't really care.

When my mom and I were planning my wedding, I was sure that everyone else was dreading the thought of being asked to help out or do something like cut the cake. I am sure I got that vibe from the one person who was feeling that way. Because of that one person though, I didn't involve any of my husband's family. Most specifically his mom. I didn't want her to have to lift a finger. I wanted her to come, relax, and enjoy the day. As it turns out, she very much wanted to be involved in the planning and preparation. She would have loved taking part in the day. I figured that out too late and I regret it. Something that I really loved about our wedding day was that my mom and my mother-in-law, by no plan of my own, ended up cutting the cakes together and had such a wonderful time doing it. It felt so special to me, and to them. So, take into consideration that people want to be wanted, and needed. They want to help and to bless you. By asking for help, or for advice, or opinions from your family, especially your in-laws, you can build relationships that will be full of joy and blessings. Just remember to be genuine. If you really don't care what brand of laundry soap your MIL uses, find something you do care about and target that area. She'll feel special to have been asked and you'll get to hand something down to your children from their grandmother, even if it is something as simple as the scent of her clothes.

Obviously some people get stuck with the crazies. Don't hop on that bandwagon just to get the easy way out. I do know of some nutty in-laws though. So don't kill yourself trying to be the perfect daughter-(or son) in-law for someone who will never accept you anyway. Much too much sleep to be lost there. On the other hand, if you have a bad egg, and even if your spouse agrees with you. Don't spend much time talking or venting or raging to your spouse. Like I said, even if your husband agrees with you, because it can still hurt. You can change the vibe of your relationship by not taking every opportunity that presents itself to bash your husband's family. You could probably discuss it now and then in a level tone of voice, but try to zip your lip for the most part.

So, bottom line, when you're looking at your in-laws like you have no idea how your beloved spouse came from a family like that, realize that they think you're a little different too.

Cleaning Day, really.

I've been working half the night away each night this week so far, last week it was all night each night. I ended up sleeping all day which is fine since I was working all night but I end up feeling like my day is gone and I miss things, like normal business hours.
Today I worked in the garage, getting a bunch of clutter cleared out. The garage tends to be the catch-all for car cleaning. I hate it. It's gross. I always feel gross when I'm out there. Like I have a spider on me...
I also cleaned my bathrooms, dusted the ceiling fans (that makes for a proud mom and mother-in-law, haha), did some laundry, cleaned the clutter piles from the laundry room, and organized the linen closet. So, I've been busy, but I still don't feel like I'm doing anything. I still need to replant my tomatoes that I killed when I moved the seedlings to a bigger pot, same story for the zucchini. The problem is...the new puppy. Yes, the honeymoon is over. Every seed I have planted in the backyard this spring has been dug up. Like, big holes. Lettuce, spinach, potted flowers (okay, I let that happen), and my bird and butterfly mix too. I'm not whining or sad about it, okay I am actually but I'm also perplexed. I have been told blood meal will keep the pets out. I guess I need to get my hands on some of that.
Josh and Bailey will be home this weekend, and next weekend, and the next weekend, I think. We have no plans and no obligations. Except for a baby shower that I just opted out of, sadly. We do have some model airplanes to put together, some new kites to fly, a puppy in the backyard who needs to be loved, and some new Frisbees too! I am so ready for this.

Pre-Spring Cleaning, Part 2

Wow, have I been busy!
I cleaned the garage for two of the last three days. We'll that's not to say that the garage is clean, just that I've been working on it. I re-arranged stuff, hauled stuff to the attic, re-boxed and organized boxes of junk, threw out boxes of junk. I actually threw out some old photos, and I never do that.
I swept, sorted, stacked, and produced sweat! Okay, I didn't sweat, I never do that either. But there's real and visible progress and it feels great!

The Trees I Planted and The Neighbor Boys

Remember the tree I said I'd pray over? I never did pray over it, and it died. So I went to Lowe's and got two more (because another one died too). The two new trees sat out on my sidewalk for at least a week before I took them to the back patio, where they sat for a few more days, begging to be planted. I was trying to work up the motivation to do it, but I had just planted 12 hostas and about 8 other little shrubs, I was really feeling sorry for myself and for all the ditch diggers in the world.
On a seemingly un-related subject, I facebooked my neighbor the other day to find out if one of her 4 sons would like to come play with my dog for a little bit, he's really been missing my step-son, terribly. I told her that I'd pay them with popsicles and she said one, or all, of them would be happy to come over to take him for a walk. So, after school yesterday, the boys came over, grabbed up little Jackson, got their popsicle payment, and headed down the street. Quite awhile later (much more than my popsicles' worth), they came bounding back into the house, through the kitchen (where Jackson stopped for a drink and I re-supplied them with popsicles) and on out the back door. One by one, almost all of the 10 boys in our neighborhood were knocking on my door hoping to join the party that was quickly developing in the backyard. The boys sat around, ran around, jumped around, and goofed around. Eventually though, as typical boys, they spied my shovel leaned up against the back of the house... suddenly 7 to 10 boys had the urge to dig! I sensed disaster and immediately put a damper on that idea.
Then I realized what a great opportunity I had just been given! These boys could dig up my dead trees, it isn't like the trees could be more dead, and they could help me plant my new trees! Oh the fun they had! Taking turns digging, reluctantly because each boy was sure that he was the greatest digger and should really be the one digging the whole hole, the two trees were removed from the ground and replaced with bright, lively, and green trees! I told them about making sure the trees were in the ground as deep as they needed to be, and we talked about tamping the dirt around the base of the tress. They loved getting the wet dirt and grime on their hands, and I loved getting my trees planted!
After the digging and planting, the boys talked about how last Summer we planted watermelon and, although they didn't get big enough to have the watermelon party we'd hoped for, we still were able to watch the plants grow from seedlings. They assured me that they would love to be here when the time comes to plant my vegetable garden and that when my step-son returns we should have another water hose party with ice cream sandwiches (like last Summer). It was in that moment that I realized something. All the time I put into making great memories for my step-son, like gardening (the watermelon plant was his own choosing), making a camp fire with the friends and neighbor boys, having water fights, supplying ice cream sandwiches for all his friends (once or twice a Summer), or gathering around the kitchen table to play Uno, all this had built wonderful childhood memories for every boy in our neighborhood. Through my little window I saw a really big picture, an amazing and beautiful picture.

The Little Tree

Gotta tell ya about this.

I did much work today. Much too much work I think!


See this tree? Well a few weeks ago I bought about 14 of these, two are getting very close to dead and so I decided to get someone to dig my holes for me and then I could do the rest.



Did you hear me say 14? Let's just say un-digging a hole is not as easy as it looks. I did eight trees, (the captain helped with the other 6 the next day and he was done in no time) one of them was a possible waste of my strength and energy since it's looking very dead at this point. I'm going to pray over it, and it'll probably turn out to be the biggest one.



Even before the digging though, I went to Lowe's and bought 7 bags of this top soil and 7 bags of manure, and 2 bags of potting soil. They told me 1/2 soil & 1/2 manure for each tree. So I switched my cart for a double decker shelf on wheels looking thing, and loaded all 16 of my 40 lb bags up onto it, then I dragged it down the aisle until I saw a super turbo trolley thing, this was like a lumber hauling cart, just what I needed! So I re-loaded all the bags of, well, crap, onto the new cart from heaven and hauled it right up to the check out. The lady was mortified to see me. I guess she had assumed that I was asking about the amount of dirt I needed because I was buying the trees. So I explained to her that I already had my trees at home and now wanted to plant them, in dirt. She humbly said that a guy could have "quick loaded" them right into my car and pointed out pallets and pallets of the same stuff I had just spent 15 minutes tossing back and forth. My eyes crossed. Then I went home and made 16 trips back and forth across my yard, 40 lbs was about my max at that point, delivering the bags to the approximate area that I thought I'd need them.

By then the sun was high and burning my neck, but I was not ready to give up. All I could think about was that poor tree, dying in the heat with shrivled roots and no one to care for it. Must. Plant. Trees. Nothing else mattered, until that brown little guy was in the ground, after that, it was all about me again, those other green giants could wait!